Every year right around this time, I start getting excited about new movies again. Up until this point in the year, the studios, with a few notable exceptions, have been releasing their backlog of unimpressive filler films deemed not worthy for fan-fared release during one of the more platinum movie seasons: namely the summer “blockbuster” and fall “awards magnet” seasons. Therefore, with little to wet my insatiable appetite for new cinema beyond titles such as Tooth Fairy, Dear John, and The Bounty Hunter, I have, for less of a better means of description, been going hungry for the past four months.
Except for Shutter Island, which was moved from its originally scheduled release date of October 3, 2009 in order for Paramount Pictures to ensure the release of at least one predicted money-maker during a season usually known for its slim pickin’s, no other film released in 2010 thus far has remotely enticed me to leave the comfort of my rather significant Netflix queue or my rather modest home theater system and to venture out to the dreaded multiplexes. I say dreaded for, to quote Obi-Wan, “nowhere will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”
All right, that’s overstating it a bit. However, they are upheavals of excess and extortion. Sorry readers. Apparently I’m incapable of anything less than hyperbole tonight. But movie theaters have lost their charm. They just aren’t what they used to be. If you’ll allow me a bit of waxing poetic through nostalgia, going to the movies used to be a magical experience of romantic proportions, even if you weren’t on a date. Of course, people also used to put on a hat and gloves to go into town, so…so much for nostalgia. Nowadays, you can go broke even before you get to the popcorn line. And with everyone and his Aunt Lillian jumping on the fast train to 3D town, we are currently looking at ticket prices averaging between $15 and $20 per person. My particular Netflix package costs me less than $10 per month, and my DVD player comes with a pause button in case I have to throw somebody out of the house when his cell phone goes off in the middle of the movie.
When I went to see The Dark Knight for the second time (because I just had to see it a second time), the movie had barely begun to roll when a woman pushing a stroller and leading two bouncing monkeys, who, judging by the vertical diameter of their eyeballs and inability not to twitch, had finished their three gallons of Pepsi before entering the room, took the seat directly next to mine. That’s right. The singular seat. The kids apparently were given free reign to utilize the running space directly in front of my chair. That movie theater was more like a daycare center, and I was the free babysitter paying for the privilege of watching the kids. I kept waiting for the mother to lean over and say, “Do you mind keeping an eye on them? I’m trying to watch this movie.” Terrible.
Anyways, long story a little less long, movie theaters, in my opinion, are the worst way to see a movie these days, especially considering the extremely reasonably short amount of time it takes for new movies to come out on DVD, and the quality of home entertainment centers. That is unless something comes along that sparks my interest enough to encourage my willing ignorance of the above-stated grievances. And this is the time of year when studios start releasing movies with the power to encourage that very willing ignorance.
Looking ahead at the coming months’ release schedules, there are a number of movies coming out that I am either extremely excited about or intrigued enough by to risk a repeat of my Dark Knight fiasco. Here is a handful on my radar that I think you might like to have on yours.
On May 14, the director and lead actor of the 2000 Academy Award-winning Gladiator are re-teaming to bring us a brand new Robin Hood that this time doesn’t include Kevin Costner sometimes attempting a mediocre British accent. The trailer looks incredible. Cate Blanchett is Maid Marion. This one has been getting a lot of buzz for quite awhile.
On June 18, Pixar returns to the ongoing and endlessly entertaining saga of Woody and Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story 3. A new Pixar movie is always worthy of a trip to the theater.
On July 16, Christopher Nolan releases his first originally conceived idea since his monumentally mind-binding Memento (2000). Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Juno’s Ellen Page, Inception, based on the trailers, looks to be as equally mind-binding and original. I will now see anything brought to us by the director of The Dark Knight.
Finally, on August 13, Julia Roberts returns to the big screen in one of her first leading roles since she won the Academy Award for 2000’s Erin Brockovich. I don’t know about you, but personally I’ve missed Julia ever since she decided to live happily ever after as Mrs. Danny Moder and family. Eat Pray Love may seem to be aimed more at the 40-year-old female lobby, and not the 28-year-old male district. But it is the sophomore directorial effort of Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy, and costars the always-terrific Javier Bardem, so I’m willing to give it a try. And…Julia Roberts.
So there you have it. We’ll have to wait and see if they can live up to the hype. I’m looking forward to seeing if they do.
Until next week, here is my hope that we all find our Shangri-La. Good night.
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